slowly, slowly

I am healing. But just very slowly. I know that I am a little better today than I was yesterday. I know tomorrow I will be a little better than I was today.

Tomorrow they take off the humongous itchy bandage and check the incisions and staples. It most definitely hurts but I am walking a fine balance wire of pain meds versus handling the pain. I still have dilauded on the little clicker that I control. That means I can keep clicking once every 15-20 minutes and keep the pain at bay all day long if I want. But that comes with price - it makes me uncontrollably sleepy. I would never be able to leave the bed.

Getting up and walking around is the only way to make the healing go faster. It’s the only part of this I can control. So I forgo the meds when I can in order to stay mobile and lucid. When I can’t take the pain anymore I click that sucker, take a nap for awhile, then do it all over again in an hour or two.

I still have not had any real food. Just jello, popsicles, and juice. Funny thing is, I’m not really hungry. The only thing I crave is a shower. Maybe tomorrow after the incision check? I can only hope.

Also tomorrow, my sister Carolyn comes to visit me - overnight even! It’s good, because I can tell that as I’m feeling better I’m getting antsy about being here so very long and I’ll need the distraction. The only bad thing about her visiting is that when we are together we tend to giggle like a couple of crazy loons and oh, does it ever hurt to laugh right now!

More tomorrow. xoxo

July 3, 2009 | Leave a Comment 
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bummer

It’s getting harder to find the funny in all of this.

I had my surgery at 6:00 pm last night, and unfortunately they couldn’t to it laparoscopically. They did have to cut me open. Ouch. It’s a setback but I’m trying to stay light about it. That’s not working too well.

I still haven’t had any food. Not even broth. I just now got a little apple juice to sip at because I’m so sick of ice chips I whined until the doc let me have it. Sheesh. It’s not like I’m asking for a steak dinner.

I can’t seem to stop having crying jags. I don’t know if that’s the pain killers or the lack of calories or just the overall frustration.  I’m not a cute crier. I’m puffy, and red, and have bloodshot eyes. Because I wasn’t unattractive enough wearing a johnny. Well, really 2 johnnys - the extra one to cover my butt when they actually let me walk around.

The highlight of the day both Tues. and Weds. was my shower. No really. Both were a major production. But it was the only thing that felt good either day.

I don’t get to have a shower today. Or tomorrow either. Because the big bandage on my belly has to stay there at least 48 hours. Yes, I do have deodorant!

I can’t go home probably until Sunday. Sunday. That feels like light years away.

Josh is going to my MIL’s tonight. She and her husband drove all the way here - 3 hours each way - to come get him for us. He was supposed to go this weekend for the 4th of July festivities anyway, he’s just going a day early now.

I can’t run my 5K on Saturday. Obviously. But I can’t get over how bummed out I am about it. I really wanted to do this. I had set myself a personal goal and I so badly wanted to achieve it. I know I will do it another time, but I’m just not done being annoyed about it.

I never mentioned to you all that I also signed up for the BlogHer Chicago 1st annual 5K on the Friday morning of the conference. Now I can’t do that one either and it bums me out even more, if that’s possible really. I can only hope that by then I’ll be okay to go cheer on the others, but I just don’t know. At this point as long as I’m cleared to fly to Chicago I have to be happy.

I’m still waiting to find out how long it’s going to be before I’m allowed to do any exercise. 4 weeks? 6? That’s almost the whole summer. So much for my running schedule.

Anyway there is a lot of stuff buzzing through my brain right now. I can’t keep my eyes open anymore so I have to end this. I’m sure I’ll post more tomorrow, maybe then I’ll have some answers.

Btw. I can’t even tell you all how much your comments here, on facebook, and on twitter have helped me get through these last two days. You all made me laugh and cry and have just generally cheered me up every time I opened my computer and found new notes from so many different people in my life. I will never forget that. xoxo

July 2, 2009 | 11 Comments 
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what gall

In case you haven’t seen my moaning and groaning on twitter you might not know that I’m happily ensconced begrudgingly captive in the hospital. I had a massive gall bladder attack in the middle of the night on Monday (well really Tuesday by then.) I’ve known for about three years that I’ve had gallstones but I’ve never been symptomatic. My first attack is my last attack.

I’m having surgery sometime this afternoon. Hopefully it will go easily and be done laproscopically so I can go home tomorrow and heal fast. If they have to open me up I’ll be stuck here for a few more days.

My friends. I have not eaten anything since Monday evening. Raspberry Italian Ices do not count as food. I was only allowed clear effing liquids all day yesterday. Up until midnight. Now I’m denied even the smallest sip of water. Clearly I’m a prisoner and I’m being tortured! Isn’t withholding food against the Geneva Convention?? All I get are these little green sponges on a stick to dip in ice water and wet my mouth. Unacceptable I say. Unacceptable! I’m ready to chew those dang sponges. They look a little like jolly ranchers!

I have to say thank you to my lovely husband who thank God had this week off anyway so he can take care of Josh, and he brought me my computer last night. What more could a girl ask for? (Food would be nice!)

Also, my friend Nicole who babysat last night while Damon had his final exam last night AND she mopped my floors! I know for a fact she mopped in places I haven’t touched since I moved in three years ago! She’s taking care of Josh again this afternoon so Damon can be here while I have my surgery. AND she bought me the pretty blue nail polish I wanted so I can have sparkly toes for BlogHer. Love her. It’s good to have good friends.

And then there’s my sister Carolyn who talked me through some pain last night while I was waiting for meds. Did I mention the meds? Mmmm. Dilauded. Good stuff. Oooooooo. The nurse is giving me some right now. I feeeellll funkkkkkyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

You know when you’re a little drunk and you lie down and those pesky bedspins kick in? That’s what Dilauded feels like when I first get it. Then I fall asleep whether I want to or not. zzzzzzzzzzzzz

OMG the cotton mouth is killing me. Sorry, off topic. Now she’s bringing me anti nausea meds. Cause you know what else dilauded does? Makes you want to puke. Except I have nothing left to puke up. So I have hunger nausea. Oh joy, that feeling brings me back to pregnancy days. Not something I ever wanted to relive.

Okay so not only did my sister talk me through the pain, then she was content to listen to me ramble and giggle for a good hour after I got the meds. I have no idea what I said.

Just like I have no idea what I’m writing now! Drugged up blogging, uh huh.

So you know my very favorite things about the hospital? Let’s do a bullet list!

Can’t. Keep. My. Eyes. Open. And I think I’m gonna hurl. Can’t go back and edit. Hope this post is semi-coherent. yikes.

I could use some comment love peeps. Keep me entertained?

July 1, 2009 | 25 Comments 
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escape

Sometimes you just need to go to the beach.

Josh and I went to Maine for a couple of days to hang out with some of my family. It was nice to play a little hooky from work!

On the way back home today we turned 3 hour trip into a 6 hour one by detouring to the beach. We had no schedule to follow and since Damon is in Pittsburgh for a couple of days we had no reason to hurry back.

It was a perfect day to play.

(More photos on Flickr.)

June 26, 2009 | 9 Comments 
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end of half days

Kindergarten is over. I surely didn’t cry! More like doing the happy happy joy joy dance!

Today was “move up day” - he spent time with his new teacher, met his new classmates and did a little science project. And now he’s happy about going to first grade next year. Yep, just about what I figured would happen.

Of course he’s only been home a few hours and he’s already told me he’s bored. I told him if he was really bored that I would find something for him to clean. Heh. He disappeared to his room pretty quickly.

So here was Josh on the first day of school:

And here was Josh today:

It’s a little hard to tell with the perspective being so different, but holy cow has he grown! Same little half smile though!

June 23, 2009 | 6 Comments 
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finally, the Boston BlogHer BBQ post!

In all the craziness lately I completely forgot to tell you all the Most! Important! Thing! that happened last week!

Josh lost his first tooth! At the Boston BlogHer BBQ! In the donated Friendly’s ice cream! ;) (Dang, we had good sponsors - Peapod, Springpad, Home Free Treats, and Hebrew National in addition to Friendly’s.)

It wasn’t the ice cream’s fault though.  It was the fruit salad I made. He went to chew a piece of pineapple - hit his top teeth on the bottom teeth and ~crunch~ the very loose tooth was hanging and bleeding. Poor kid! I’m sure it hurt like crazy.

He wouldn’t let me touch it so I figured I’d deal with it at home later. So I gave him ice cream to soothe it. Next thing I know he’s standing there grinning at me with a little itty bitty tooth in hand. Whoo hooo!!!

So better late than never, I just want to give a shout out to my BBQ peeps, Susan Getgood, Fairly Odd Mother, Chicky Chicky Baby, Susan Forshner, Boston Mamas, Momisodes, Daddy Scratches, More than Mommy, Miguelina, Mommy Bytes, Karen, the Meal Makeover Moms, Mommy Niri, Liz, Alex Casey Baby, Good Girl Gone Blog, and oh geez I know I’m forgetting some!

It was such a fun afternoon that I heard rumors that plans already may be in the works for another meet up in the fall. I hope so! And for those that are going to Chicago - it’ll be great to know a few faces in that a vast sea of bloggers!

June 22, 2009 | 6 Comments 
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transitions and temper

These last few days of Kindergarten are killing me. Josh does NOT want it to end and it’s making him as cranky as I’ve ever seen him. My normally happy-go-lucky kid is moody to the extreme. Moody isn’t even the right word. Sulky is close. He’s 6 going on 16, I swear. I just can’t wait for it to be OVER!

I seem to recall the same thing happened with preschool last year. The last week or so was horrid and I kept wondering and worrying about how I was going to deal with the bad attitude and temper for the whole summer. Just him and I all day, every day. Oy.

And then *poof* the minute school was done we created a new routine and all was well in our world.

I can only hope that’s exactly what happens again starting Wednesday next week. Hope and pray.

I know he’s going to miss his teacher whom he absolutely adores. I know he’s going to miss his friends, many of whom he will see regularly anyway. I know he’s nervous about going full days next year, even though the time will fly so fast he won’t even notice it happening. I know he’s afraid of harder work, of math and science, of homework, even though he’s can do it all now if he wanted. I know he has anxiety over cafeteria lunch, and field trips, and oh, everything new all over again. I do know this.

But I also know he will be fine. He will be more than fine. He will blossom. He will excel in anything his tries. He just has to try it first.

We have more than 2 months before he can try though, and I think that’s what bothers him the most. The waiting. The anticipation. The scary idea of FIRST GRADE. Oh my! The whole summer ahead to think and worry. (Gah - he’s so much like me!) This is what makes him cranky and temperamental and ready to cry at the drop of a hat. This is what is going to make me go slowly insane.

School ends Tuesday. So I just have to make it to Wednesday. Then all will be well in my world again. Right? Sigh. I really hope so.

June 19, 2009 | 3 Comments 
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what I think about Vista

I just lost a whole day’s worth of work because of my stupid laptop. Vista sucks. Oh yeah, and Vista sucks.

Hopefully I can pick up the computer from the repair guy soon.

ps. Vista sucks!

June 16, 2009 | 4 Comments 
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I just need to whine a little

Edited to add: Sometimes whining does the trick - I feel much better today and I’m still alternating hot and cold so it continues to heal. Yay - no doctor for me this time!

My neck hurts! Wah! I don’t know what I did but I guess I pulled a muscle on Wednesday afternoon. That’s when it started bothering me. While I was sitting on the couch. So yeah, I have no idea what happened.

Every day I wake up and think ‘well surely it’ll be better today.’ But it’s not.

It started spasming this afternoon so I’m alternating between cold packs and heating pads now. I’m very certain I overdid it yesterday by going to the Boston BlogHer BBQ (more on that soon - but it was so worth going!)  If it’s not better tomorrow I think I’ll have to go to the doc. Ugh.

I don’t want to drag this out like I did with my back in February but I also hate to go in to only have them tell me either to keep doing what I’m doing and it will heal, or that I need PT again which is so expensive. (It falls under my deductible and I do have a pretty big deductible to meet, again, ugh.)

Anyway, I just needed to whine a little. Thanks for listening peeps. xo

ps. Damon finally gets home late tonight. It’s been a really really really long week. And we get to do it all over again next month. Triple ugh.

June 14, 2009 | 8 Comments 
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ditching catnip

Just a note on comments - my own comments that is. I’ll be changing from commenting as Catnip or Catnip35 to AnnetteK on everyone’s blogs. (Although I’ve already slipped up today!)

I’ve wanted to ditch the Catnip alias for some time now, and have the same commenting name as my twitter account. Having different names has been confusing to everyone - including me! I’m crazy enough as it is, I don’t need to make this harder for myself.

Hope you all have a great weekend! xoxo

June 12, 2009 | 3 Comments 
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