how fragile we are

I have a heavy heart and it’s made my brain shut down. I keep trying to write something, anything, and I’ve got nothing. The sadness makes me unable to sleep, unable to write. The story isn’t mine to tell anyway. I just wanted you to know I’m here, but not really here.

Don’t worry about me, I’m just worrying about someone else. I’m too far away to help you see, and that’s where my strength lies. If I can’t be of use, then I’m at a loss. There are some things no one can fix.

I’m in limbo, waiting. Waiting to hear what’s happening next, to get some trickle of news. Waiting for the right time to go, but it’s not time yet. In the meantime, I have responsibilities, a boy to take care of and work to do.

This post may disappear. To put it down in writing hurts, and may hurt someone to read it someday. Just the reminder hurts. I don’t know, it’s not as if she can forget anyway. Maybe she’ll read this and know I was with her, even if I couldn’t be with her.

Go hug and kiss someone you care about, and tell them you love them. Do it for me, because I can’t right now.

June 5, 2008 | Filed Under friends, Uncategorized Tagged ,

Comments

8 Responses to “how fragile we are”

  1. Sometimes Saintly Nick on June 5th, 2008 6:46 am

    Wonderful thoughts. Thank you.

  2. Christy on June 5th, 2008 8:18 am

    Aww…that’s really tough to be on the outside of someone else’s pain and not be able to help them somehow. I’m sure whoever it is you’re pulling for feels your presence–what a gift.

  3. Pinks & Blues Girls on June 5th, 2008 7:34 pm

    Oh… I am thinking of you. WHomever you refer to.. they are lucky to have someone as loving and as giving and as caring as you.
    Here’s a hug…
    Best,
    Audrey

  4. Kaza on June 5th, 2008 11:13 pm

    Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry you’re in pain with worry for someone you love. It’s such a helpless feeling, isn’t it? I’ll be keeping you and your friend in my thoughts…

  5. Mynda & Heather on June 6th, 2008 1:09 pm

    It’s hard sometimes to just stand back and wait… with a heavy heart. Your friend is lucky to have you. Know that today we will tell our friends how much they mean to us because of your words.

  6. Carolyn on June 6th, 2008 8:52 pm

    You’re a great friend, and your dear friend knows this. I think it’s very *real* of you to put your feelings in writing.

    Love you, sis. :)

  7. Jennifer H on June 8th, 2008 12:18 am

    Sounds like a rough spot, and I hope it all works out. Sending good thoughts.

  8. » how fragile we are, part 2 Catnip and Coffee on August 29th, 2008 11:58 am

    [...] of you may remember when I wrote this post. I was in agony, not for myself but for my friends but I didn’t feel it was my place to tell [...]