I’ve horrified myself
If you’ve read much of this blog, or if you know me irl, you are well aware that cleaning is my least favorite thing to do on the planet. Seriously. When I told DH I was going to be working on the Homemaking Channel for Blog Nosh Magazine he actually laughed and said “well, maybe you’ll learn something.” (Don’t condemn him, it’s no worse than I thought myself AND he helps around here way more than most husbands!)
Anyway, DH took the boy to t-ball awhile ago and I decided to stay home and try to accomplish something. Something immensely productive. I needed to clean the family room. This is the room where the boy and I spend most of our time during the day. Many of his toys and craft items are here, and my work stuff is all here. This fact will be important later – I work sitting in the middle of the couch with all my shit stuff spread out around me. (Mostly because my desk is too cluttered to actually work at. Sigh.) You might already know, but I am a freelance photo editor. That means I always have manuscripts, layouts, pens, highlighters, a water bottle, a coffee mug (well balanced of course), paper clips, date planner, etc. next to me at all times. Yeah, on the couch. It drives DH crazy because he can never come sit next to me. I digress.
I needed to clean because I have overnight company coming it was dirty. As I’m vacuuming it occurred to me that someone might need to sleep on the couch later this week, and god forbid someone might pull the cushions off of it. So I bit the bullet and decided to clean under the cushions. Oh. My. God. Needless to say I am sitting on a very clean couch as I type this.
Confession time. Here is the horror list of what I found, not including Hershey Kisses wrappers just regular trash.
- Popsicle sticks. At least 20 of them. Now one or two and it wouldn’t haven’t even made the list. But 20?
- Pens, highlighters, markers. A good thirty or so total. This is the part where you say, “You dumb shit, you work sitting on your couch. What did you expect?”
- Crochet hooks. Three of them! This is why I stopped crocheting last winter, I couldn’t find any hooks.
- A pot holder. Yeah, really, a Christmas themed pot holder.
- White-Out. A whole bottle, luckily closed up tight.
- A cordless phone. (!) Apparently the back of the couch has this really deep area that I’ve never seen before. I’ve been looking for this phone for, well, let’s just say a long time. I’m trying to charge it up now, to see if it still works.
- Paperclips and binder clips. Too numerous to count. I was going to buy some more this weekend. Now I don’t have to!
- Post-its. Cute little pink ones.
- Rubber bands. The office kind and the hair kind. Those are never going in my hair again. At least I can wash the barrette, and little tiny hair clips I use when I when my hair falls in my face that I also found.
- Legos. Legos, Legos, and more Legos. And various other toys. Like a fake cockroach. I really hope it was fake. (Kidding! We don’t have cockroaches in NH, we have ants. Lots and lots of ants.)
- My library card. That’s a good thing, I have overdue books.
I’m pretty sure I deserve a second cup of coffee for all of that. Or a nap. Or a cleaning lady.
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