I’ve horrified myself

If you’ve read much of this blog, or if you know me irl, you are well aware that cleaning is my least favorite thing to do on the planet. Seriously. When I told DH I was going to be working on the Homemaking Channel for Blog Nosh Magazine he actually laughed and said “well, maybe you’ll learn something.” (Don’t condemn him, it’s no worse than I thought myself AND he helps around here way more than most husbands!)

Anyway, DH took the boy to t-ball awhile ago and I decided to stay home and try to accomplish something. Something immensely productive. I needed to clean the family room. This is the room where the boy and I spend most of our time during the day. Many of his toys and craft items are here, and my work stuff is all here. This fact will be important later – I work sitting in the middle of the couch with all my shit stuff spread out around me. (Mostly because my desk is too cluttered to actually work at. Sigh.) You might already know, but I am a freelance photo editor. That means I always have manuscripts, layouts, pens, highlighters, a water bottle, a coffee mug (well balanced of course), paper clips, date planner, etc. next to me at all times. Yeah, on the couch. It drives DH crazy because he can never come sit next to me. I digress.

I needed to clean because I have overnight company coming it was dirty. As I’m vacuuming it occurred to me that someone might need to sleep on the couch later this week, and god forbid someone might pull the cushions off of it. So I bit the bullet and decided to clean under the cushions. Oh. My. God. Needless to say I am sitting on a very clean couch as I type this.

Confession time. Here is the horror list of what I found, not including Hershey Kisses wrappers just regular trash.

I’m pretty sure I deserve a second cup of coffee for all of that. Or a nap. Or a cleaning lady.


18 Responses to “I’ve horrified myself”

  1. Kaza on June 14th, 2008 3:47 pm

    Girl, you are singing my tune. I was laughing out loud b/c I’m sitting here on my couch right now (horrors under the cushions as-of-yet undiscovered) with my stuff piled around me.

    You deserve something MUCH better than coffee or a nap for this. Like serious chocolate, or champagne or new shoes. (AND a professional cleaning service, definitely that.)

    P.S. ChapterBytes is certainly humming along, congrats!

  2. Cluckers on June 14th, 2008 5:18 pm

    Woman – I don’t know how we are friends. I am the opposite of you. I have to rearrange the couch cushions after someone (that would be the 12 year old) flops on the sofa. If I have a pile of work stuff, I need to have it in a NEAT pile, and it must be kept on my bed (smoothly made of course!) out of sight when I’m not actively working on it. It’s an illness, I tell you! So tell the husband that he could be married to me and he wouldn’t be ANY happier living with a neatnick.

    And I do agree with the Kaza, you definitely deserve a new something for all that work. Personally, I would recommend shoes because no matter what, they will always fit 🙂

  3. AndreAnna on June 14th, 2008 8:10 pm

    I cleaned out a chair this week and found a toilet wand. Swear.

  4. Carolyn on June 14th, 2008 8:14 pm

    This easily the funniest post I’ve read yet…. 🙂

  5. DH on June 14th, 2008 8:49 pm

    I am afraid I am going to require some sort of certification from the health department before I sit on that couch again. This is why the one in my TV room is a futon.

  6. Stimey on June 14th, 2008 10:49 pm

    I love that you found your phone there. And your library card. Very nice.

  7. Janice on June 15th, 2008 9:13 am


    You are just hilarious. But now I’m obsessing about what are under the cushions in my own house. Perhaps I’ll look later today. Or tomorrow. Or maybe next week. Who really wants to be immensely productive anyway? 😀


  8. Cass on June 15th, 2008 12:07 pm

    You are too funny. You totally deserve something after that adventure – ice cream in a waffle cone perhaps?

  9. Kristen on June 15th, 2008 6:46 pm

    That was hilarious. You know, it’s very possible that some of that random stuff (in particular the Legos) could have just as easily slipped out of MY pockets into your couch cushions. I have you seen how much crap I collect in my pockets???

  10. Christy on June 16th, 2008 3:38 pm

    I have had several similar experiences underneath my own couch cushions…it’s very curious isn’t it? Either that or gross, I can’t decide. lol

  11. Annette Piper on June 16th, 2008 7:01 pm

    Oh my, that is sooo funny! I was smiling but was laughing out loud by the time I got to the cordless phone 🙂

    I weakened when I had twins and got a cleaning lady. She was supposed to stay for 6 weeks… three years later she was still coming fortnightly! I decided, in my NONwisdom that I should be OK and stopped her coming….aaaccckk!! What a HUGE mistake. I tried to keep things going for another year but it just kept getting on top of me. She now comes once a month so I can rest easy in the knowledge that at least ONCE a month the black hole behind the lounge cushion will be cleaned out 😉

  12. catnip35 on June 17th, 2008 8:41 am

    Kaza – it freaks me out that we’re so much alike!
    Cluckers – is this why you haven’t come to visit me yet??
    AndreAnna – okay, that actually makes me feel a little better!
    Carolyn – thank you!!
    DH – good luck with that!
    Stimey – I love that you comment 🙂
    Janice – put it off as long as you can, seriously!
    Cass – mmmm ice cream
    Kristen – you’re good for my ego, but you’re not getting any of the Legos back!
    Christy – I’m gonna go with curious….
    Annette – ooooh, a cleaning lady once a month, that’s sounds wonderful!

    Thanks you guys for all the great comments! I really needed that this week!

  13. erinslick on June 19th, 2008 6:31 pm

    OMG.. are you my husband? He works from the couch too and I find AMAZING treasures when I clean!!!

  14. Jenny, Bloggess on July 13th, 2008 7:44 am

    Featured on Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle. http://tinyurl.com/5p8q7b

    Jenny, Bloggesss last blog post..Thanks for the zombies, Jesus!

  15. natalie on July 13th, 2008 2:15 pm

    you know…we have couches here that don’t have cushions that come off. they actually don’t have separate cushions at all…just one large cushion that is attached to the the frame. it’s a good thing, because with 4 kids no telling what all might be lost in the couches! don’t you love how i blame the kids!

    natalies last blog post..Ahhh…the great outdoors.

  16. Cleaning the horrors inside the couch. | Blog Nosh Magazine on January 8th, 2009 4:00 am

    […] Pick by Catnip at Catnip and Coffee. It feels strange to put one of my own posts up here, but I thought after all of these Editor’s Picks that I’ve made, you might like […]

  17. Elisa on January 8th, 2009 7:49 am

    Like Natalie’s our couch cushions don’t come off. However, our couch is a sectional, so we find all kinds of stuff in between pieces. For instance, when I can’t find any of the 20 or so pacifiers I know we have (because I keep buying more) I just need to move the couch sections and look in between, underneath and behind them. There. 12 pacifiers or so. The other 8 are probably in the girls’ room (in the toy chest, behind the bed, under the crib).

    Believe me, I can totally relate 🙂

    Elisas last blog post..A brand new year of ramblings

  18. Kelly on January 8th, 2009 9:13 am

    Finally, a housekeeping post I can relate to. No preachy photographs of well organized wicker baskets and clean beige walls. No tips on how to keep the silver polished and the crystal sparkling.

    I will be back…

    Blog Nosh rocks!

    Kellys last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: 7/365

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