where were you?
I was in my office, just starting my day, when a co-worker came in and told me her mother had called and said a missile had hit a building in New York. We thought that sounded very strange so I tried going to CNN.com, MSNBC.com, every news site I could think of, but none of them worked. Even stranger.
We thought of the TV in the conference room. The reception was terrible with those old rabbit ears, but we made it work. The more we watched, the more colleagues joined us, and the more horrified we were. We were watching live when the second plane hit. The entire group was stunned into silence, until these co-workers of mine, military and aviation experts all, called it for what they knew it was. It wasn’t a missile, it was a plane, a big plane. As bad as the picture was, they clearly recognized it, long before the analysis on the news got it right.
The room became very crowded. I couldn’t have left my seat if I’d wanted to. I didn’t want to. All eyes were glued to the screen, ears straining to hear the tiny speakers. Talking in the room was only a slight whisper. Anything louder was quickly shushed.
The reception got worse, only one channel came in, and only with someone standing up, holding the antennae, using their body to attract the signal.
Time passed, rumors were heard. Rumors about bombs at the World Bank, rumors about bombs at the USA Today building, rumors about Reagan National Airport, and then Dulles Airport, just a few miles away. Rumors about news buildings being targets. And the White House of course. Rumors about the Pentagon. Wait.
New pictures on the screen. The Pentagon was not a rumor. Neither was the plane in Pennsylvania. This terrible reality just got closer to us personally, a lot closer. My colleagues knew what that meant. Imminent war. At this moment, some kind of war was beginning, we just didn’t know exactly what that war would look like.
Some of us watched longer, unable to look away, while others drifted back to their offices, hoping to get some normalcy out of the day. They were hiding out, not wanting to know any more. I couldn’t blame anyone for that. Especially after those of us left watched the first tower crumble with tears streaming down our faces. I was glad I wasn’t alone then.
After the second tower came down, our boss quietly told us all to go home. He was closing the office and wanted us to go be with our families. It was a relief to leave to have a reason to get away from the TV for a few minutes, to get away from other people.
I got in my car, and sat for a moment. I was listening to a little voice in the back of my head. Don’t get on the highway it said. The last thing I wanted to do was get on a crowded highway, and get stuck in massive traffic. Traffic is bad on a normal day, this was Northern Virginia after all. I knew a back way, a dirt road that led almost all the way home. Halfway down the dirt road, I heard the traffic update. Everyone who got on that highway was there for hours and hours. I spent those same hours at home, alone, back in front of the news.
I remember how bad the phone lines were. I was able to call my parents in Maine, but not my husband two miles away. For awhile cell phones were easier to get through on, then nothing at all worked. DH wouldn’t come home, couldn’t come home. He worked in the news business and news people don’t get to stop working in a crisis.
I wasn’t a mom yet. I wondered that day if I ever would be, if I should even bring a baby into such a horrible world. I changed my mind about that, but one this day every year, I remember that helplessness, hopelessness, and the terrible terrible sadness. I remember and pray for everyone affected by the events of 9/11 and its aftermath.
Where were you that morning? Do you remember much? I realized today that I had some trouble remembering the details. I wrote this today so I wouldn’t forget how I personally felt and what I did and who was around me. I don’t want my only memories to be the ones I see on the ceremonial shows every year. I don’t want my own experience to get cloudy. Never never forget.
The Pentagon, 9/11/01, Department of Defense/US Navy photo.
Comments
15 Responses to “where were you?”
I was a newlywed of three days, searching heartbroken in a nearby wooded park for our dog who had run away during our wedding. We’d canceled our little honeymoon trip to stay home and try to find her. My sister called me on the cell phone to tell me a plane had run into the WTC. My first thought was “what bad pilot of a little two-seater loses his way so badly that he can’t see a whole city full of skyscrapers in front of him?” I got off the phone quickly because I was still looking for my beloved dog. It wasn’t till she called back and could manage to explain what was really going on that I realized this wasn’t some goofy private pilot accident. We got home and spent the rest of Day 3 of our married lives watching the news in horror. I mechanically wrote “thank you” notes for wedding gifts, in some attempt to find something positive on that day. I felt horribly horribly guilty for missing my dog when so many people were missing so much more.
I was a lucky one. We lost no one we knew on 9/11, and our dog even came home a week later. Every time I look at her, I remember how lucky I am.
MommyTimes last blog post..The Post Where this Blog Becomes a Stereotype
It’s haunting me today as well - the tragedy of that day.
I was at home, luckily, but after that day, does anyone feel truly safe anywhere?
Today is a day of reflection for me. I am sad. I miss my old job. I started to write a better comment, and it turned out I had a whole lot more to say than I realized, so I made my own post.
I was in college - when I first heard the news on the way to class, I thought the same thing MommyTime did - what kind of idiot couldn’t see a skyscraper and flew his tiny plane into it? I sat through class not giving it a second thought.
I went back to my apartment afterward, saw one of my roommate staring slack-jawed at the TV and turned just in time to see the first tower fall.
We sat like that all day, pretty much - 4 of us jammed on to the couch, not really speaking, just watching the news repeat over and over and over.
i was a sophomore in high school when one of my friends came into my class that had just been dismissed saying that something crashed into the w.t.c. we stood alone but together in another classroom watching in horror as the other plane crashed. an announcement came over the intercom telling us all to go back to our homeroom class and wait for further instruction. there was silence in the hallway as we all shuffled around. we sat in our classes for the rest of the day, in shock…. never moving, just watching and wondering what would happen next. it was the quietest day i had ever been through.
I was at work (in Maine) when we got a call from a colleague in San Francisco telling us to turn on the tv. He was at our 5 year convention in SF where I was suppose to be also but had backed out just before due to my fear of flying. Like all who has commented, we sat in silence watching the tv which was barely coming in. No one could believe it. At noon I decided to come home. I couldn’t wait to get here, I was hardly breathing. As soon as I got home I turned on the tv and broke down sobbing. My eyes were glued to the set for days. I was so happy to be able to be a home….unlike so many that we are remembering today. God bless us all, every one.
I was teaching kindergarten in NJ and I learned of it from my principal. But we were warned to show no emotion so the kids wouldn’t get upset. That was difficult - holding the panic, horror, grief inside until all the kids were gone.
Mary Beths last blog post..LEAVE YER POLITICS AT THE DOOR
I was in school, teaching. When the custodian, who was known for his jokes, asked me if I’d heard that a plane had flown into the World Trade Center, I waited for the punchline. It was inconceivable that something like that would happen on American soil. Through the morning, teachers watched on the TV in the teacher’s lounge if they had a free period. By the early afternoon, the whole school was assembled to watch the video footage together. School was dismissed as soon as all parents had been notified of the intent to close early. One student was related to one of the pilots. Such a sad day.
sometimessophias last blog post..Begin the Biguande
Today, when we had a moment of silence after the Pledge of Allegiance, I looked at “my” little ones and thanked God that they had no idea why all us teachers had tears in our eyes.
Beautiful post. I was stunned by how emotional I became this morning when they replayed the original footage on one of the morning shows. It’s still so fresh. I can’t write about it yet, but it’s helpful to read what you and others have written today.
Kazas last blog post..What, I Have a Blog?
I was at work in Reston. And we all crowded around a tv in an office. Then we tried to go home. DH and I worked together at the time so at least we were together for the two hours it took to get home from work. We were newlyweds, married only three months. He lost a dozen friends, at least– NYPD and NYFD workers who never came out of the towers. I remember feeling exactly like you were describing: completely helpless. My mom is local, but my dad is in Pittsburgh. Thankfully as soon as I saw the tv footage of the pentagon, I ran and called him. But of course, PA had their own tragedy. Then the planes stopped. No planes for days in or out of Dulles. And we live under a landing path, so it was eerie quiet. Except for the Air Force jets that would patrol overhead. (I live very close to an intelligence building) And I swear every time one flew over I thought we were being attacked. God, and the pentagon. In my neighborhood people made flags out of sheets and markers and hung them from their windows.
Thank you for posting this and asking us to write about it. It was a tough day yesterday.
Thanks for sharing this. I wrote my post, like you, so I wouldn’t forget the little details. I know I will never forget my emotions that day though.
Trenches of Mommyhoods last blog post..On September 11th
I was in the 6th grade. Our teacher had gotten a phone call from the office in the morning. She told us what had happened at the end of the day. I watched the footage indifferently.
It was a couple years later when I watched the movie “World Trade Center” that its effect truly hit me.
Thank you for Posting this blog.
We deserved it.
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