daydreams and naps
For those of you who have asked, I fully enjoyed my three days of freedom. Though I didn’t get a single nap. I long for a nap.
The boy came home yesterday afternoon, and somehow he seems older, or taller, or something different that I can’t put my finger on. This happens every time he goes away. And yet when he got out of their car to greet me, he had just awoken from a nap, and was still sleepy. He leaned on me a bit for steadiness, started to walk to my car, then came back and leaned on me again. ~sigh~ He turns six next month, and in moments like this I can still see the baby he once was. Sleepy eyes and warm hugs do that to a child.
I remember when I was the child, waking from a snooze after a long drive in the car. Those were the best kind of naps; riding in the back seat, my temple resting against the cool window, listening to the sounds of my parents talking. Not really listening to the words, but to the melody of the voices. That and the music from the speaker at my ear just low enough to lull me.
Riding in the backseat means no cares in the world. No attention needs to be paid to road or machinery. Not even an obligation to stay awake for the driver’s sake. Just the free opportunity to let your mind wander, to let your imagination float before you, and let your daydream become a full out dream.
Sometimes I would sleep so hard in the car I would have trouble waking. I would get that strange tingling in my brain when you’re aware you’re sleeping and you know you need to wake but you just don’t want it to end. I would finally stir and feel the crick in my neck and cotton in my mouth. Those discomforts were no matter to a child, still lingering over the last remnants of reverie. Grasping at dreams of flying in the clouds, of playing in the snow, of what life is yet to come.
Now I wonder what he dreams of when he naps in the car, or gazes out his window in daydream.
I want to ride in the backseat with him, and doze right alongside. But I’m the mom, the driver, and I can only glance in my rearview mirror and hope his dreams are as good as mine were, back when I could still fly through the clouds.
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