In case you haven’t seen my moaning and groaning on twitter you might not know that I’m happily ensconced begrudgingly captive in the hospital. I had a massive gall bladder attack in the middle of the night on Monday (well really Tuesday by then.) I’ve known for about three years that I’ve had gallstones but I’ve never been symptomatic. My first attack is my last attack.
I’m having surgery sometime this afternoon. Hopefully it will go easily and be done laproscopically so I can go home tomorrow and heal fast. If they have to open me up I’ll be stuck here for a few more days.
My friends. I have not eaten anything since Monday evening. Raspberry Italian Ices do not count as food. I was only allowed clear effing liquids all day yesterday. Up until midnight. Now I’m denied even the smallest sip of water. Clearly I’m a prisoner and I’m being tortured! Isn’t withholding food against the Geneva Convention?? All I get are these little green sponges on a stick to dip in ice water and wet my mouth. Unacceptable I say. Unacceptable! I’m ready to chew those dang sponges. They look a little like jolly ranchers!
I have to say thank you to my lovely husband who thank God had this week off anyway so he can take care of Josh, and he brought me my computer last night. What more could a girl ask for? (Food would be nice!)
Also, my friend Nicole who babysat last night while Damon had his final exam last night AND she mopped my floors! I know for a fact she mopped in places I haven’t touched since I moved in three years ago! She’s taking care of Josh again this afternoon so Damon can be here while I have my surgery. AND she bought me the pretty blue nail polish I wanted so I can have sparkly toes for BlogHer. Love her. It’s good to have good friends.
And then there’s my sister Carolyn who talked me through some pain last night while I was waiting for meds. Did I mention the meds? Mmmm. Dilauded. Good stuff. Oooooooo. The nurse is giving me some right now. I feeeellll funkkkkkyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
You know when you’re a little drunk and you lie down and those pesky bedspins kick in? That’s what Dilauded feels like when I first get it. Then I fall asleep whether I want to or not. zzzzzzzzzzzzz
OMG the cotton mouth is killing me. Sorry, off topic. Now she’s bringing me anti nausea meds. Cause you know what else dilauded does? Makes you want to puke. Except I have nothing left to puke up. So I have hunger nausea. Oh joy, that feeling brings me back to pregnancy days. Not something I ever wanted to relive.
Okay so not only did my sister talk me through the pain, then she was content to listen to me ramble and giggle for a good hour after I got the meds. I have no idea what I said.
Just like I have no idea what I’m writing now! Drugged up blogging, uh huh.
So you know my very favorite things about the hospital? Let’s do a bullet list!
- free wifi
- a private room
- those little anti-slip socks they make you wear and chastise you if you take them off
- sleeping whenever and however much I want
- peeing in the hat. (whooops my snark is showing) If you have no idea what I am talking about then you are very lucky. It’s the basin they put across the toilet to pee in so they can measure all my output. Seriously. Gross.
- nodding off mid-sentence. Just ask Damon how cool that is.
- nodding off mid-blog post.
Can’t. Keep. My. Eyes. Open. And I think I’m gonna hurl. Can’t go back and edit. Hope this post is semi-coherent. yikes.
I could use some comment love peeps. Keep me entertained?
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