bummer

It’s getting harder to find the funny in all of this.

I had my surgery at 6:00 pm last night, and unfortunately they couldn’t to it laparoscopically. They did have to cut me open. Ouch. It’s a setback but I’m trying to stay light about it. That’s not working too well.

I still haven’t had any food. Not even broth. I just now got a little apple juice to sip at because I’m so sick of ice chips I whined until the doc let me have it. Sheesh. It’s not like I’m asking for a steak dinner.

I can’t seem to stop having crying jags. I don’t know if that’s the pain killers or the lack of calories or just the overall frustration.  I’m not a cute crier. I’m puffy, and red, and have bloodshot eyes. Because I wasn’t unattractive enough wearing a johnny. Well, really 2 johnnys – the extra one to cover my butt when they actually let me walk around.

The highlight of the day both Tues. and Weds. was my shower. No really. Both were a major production. But it was the only thing that felt good either day.

I don’t get to have a shower today. Or tomorrow either. Because the big bandage on my belly has to stay there at least 48 hours. Yes, I do have deodorant!

I can’t go home probably until Sunday. Sunday. That feels like light years away.

Josh is going to my MIL’s tonight. She and her husband drove all the way here – 3 hours each way – to come get him for us. He was supposed to go this weekend for the 4th of July festivities anyway, he’s just going a day early now.

I can’t run my 5K on Saturday. Obviously. But I can’t get over how bummed out I am about it. I really wanted to do this. I had set myself a personal goal and I so badly wanted to achieve it. I know I will do it another time, but I’m just not done being annoyed about it.

I never mentioned to you all that I also signed up for the BlogHer Chicago 1st annual 5K on the Friday morning of the conference. Now I can’t do that one either and it bums me out even more, if that’s possible really. I can only hope that by then I’ll be okay to go cheer on the others, but I just don’t know. At this point as long as I’m cleared to fly to Chicago I have to be happy.

I’m still waiting to find out how long it’s going to be before I’m allowed to do any exercise. 4 weeks? 6? That’s almost the whole summer. So much for my running schedule.

Anyway there is a lot of stuff buzzing through my brain right now. I can’t keep my eyes open anymore so I have to end this. I’m sure I’ll post more tomorrow, maybe then I’ll have some answers.

Btw. I can’t even tell you all how much your comments here, on facebook, and on twitter have helped me get through these last two days. You all made me laugh and cry and have just generally cheered me up every time I opened my computer and found new notes from so many different people in my life. I will never forget that. xoxo

Comments

12 Responses to “bummer”

  1. slouchy on July 2nd, 2009 8:48 pm

    this sucks, and i’m sorry.

  2. T with Honey on July 2nd, 2009 10:53 pm

    That is a major bummer. Total bummer, even.
    To work so hard to do those 5K races and then end up in the hospital. I can imagine the disappointment.

    But… in about 6 weeks I’ll be just getting ready to start exercising again too. 😉

  3. Desiree - Mother Musing on July 3rd, 2009 1:37 am

    Disappointment SUCKS! Sorry you won’t be able to run in either of the 5k events. You have been working hard and not being able to participate when we’ve been working hard really *stinks*.

    Take care of yourself!
    Ciao

  4. Fairly Odd Mother on July 3rd, 2009 6:42 am

    I saw Tania yesterday and she told me your news! I’m so sorry that you had to have surgery. I had an unexpected c-section with my 1st, and I also had those crying boughts, so I wonder if it is drug related too? Or maybe the lack of food and sleep. Hang in there.

    Looking forward to seeing you again in 3 weeks!

  5. beaglemum on July 3rd, 2009 7:10 am

    will call you soon!
    OMG! what a crazy week…

    as i said in my email… gall bladders hate weight loss.

    i heard from one of my doctors as i was about to have mine removed that when patients have ‘stomach stappling’, they regularly remove the gall bladder, too, as a preventative measure. you will recall that mine was removed after losing 74 pounds & delightfully a few weeks before my wedding…never did get my alterations for the front of my dress! the gall!

    so sorry to hear that you can not do your 5k.
    we can do one together for my 40th birthday next year! OK?

    did you get to keep the gall stones? my doctor saved mine… 3 of them that were HUGE! sorry – too much biologist in me. 🙂

    thinking of you!

  6. nicole on July 3rd, 2009 7:29 am

    There will be many more 5k’s for us to conquer, but there’s only one you! And you need to take care of yourself. I went on http://www.coolrunning.com and there are quite a few 5k’s in the fall! Not so hot, not so humid, and perfect to help us stay focused before the holidays.

    And I don’t know a single person who doesn’t get cry-face (swollen, pink, puffy eyes and face). All I know is that doctor of yours better check in on you soon, or he’s gonna have cry-face!!!!

  7. Daisy the Curly Cat on July 3rd, 2009 8:53 am

    I’m so sorry you have to be in the hospital! I sure hope you recover from your surgery real quickly and are feeling much better soon.

  8. Melissa on July 3rd, 2009 9:03 am

    That totally sucks…I remember again my c-section with Nate and the highlight of the day following my emergency section was a shower. I insisted on having one even though the nurses were like “no, you just had major abdominal surgery.”

  9. Mary Beth (Cats, Books, Life is Good) on July 3rd, 2009 9:14 am

    The crying may be due to the shock your body just went through. I’m really hoping you’ll be cleared to fly for Chicago – I plan to hug you very carefully:) Make sure they turn your bed towards the window and have your husband set off fireworks in the parking lot for you tomorrow!

  10. mumma boo on July 3rd, 2009 10:37 am

    Ugh – that stinks. You have every right to feel disappointed and frustrated. The crying jags are perfectly normal after surgery. Let the tears flow – the harder you fight them, the stronger they’ll be and the longer they’ll last. Try to rest as much as you can so they can clear you for takeoff to BlogHer. Sending you lots of good thoughts and wishes for rapid recovery. Sending extra special wishes that the breakfast cart is rolling into your room soon! ((((HUGS))))

  11. moonspun on July 3rd, 2009 11:38 am

    Oh honey! Well, the good news…is that you are ok and you will be ok. The shitty news is that you want food and cry all the time. I know it’s hard to wait and that things must seem terrible. Maybe some jello is in your future???
    I am at least releived to hear you are ok, because I was thinking of you!

  12. let’s try this again | Catnip and Coffee on August 25th, 2009 8:46 pm

    […] much about trying to lose weight for a while, mostly because I haven’t lost any, for pretty obvious reasons! However, It’s been 8 weeks since I had my gallbladder surgery, and it’s time to get […]

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