slowly, slowly
I am healing. But just very slowly. I know that I am a little better today than I was yesterday. I know tomorrow I will be a little better than I was today.
Tomorrow they take off the humongous itchy bandage and check the incisions and staples. It most definitely hurts but I am walking a fine balance wire of pain meds versus handling the pain. I still have dilauded on the little clicker that I control. That means I can keep clicking once every 15-20 minutes and keep the pain at bay all day long if I want. But that comes with price – it makes me uncontrollably sleepy. I would never be able to leave the bed.
Getting up and walking around is the only way to make the healing go faster. It’s the only part of this I can control. So I forgo the meds when I can in order to stay mobile and lucid. When I can’t take the pain anymore I click that sucker, take a nap for awhile, then do it all over again in an hour or two.
I still have not had any real food. Just jello, popsicles, and juice. Funny thing is, I’m not really hungry. The only thing I crave is a shower. Maybe tomorrow after the incision check? I can only hope.
Also tomorrow, my sister Carolyn comes to visit me – overnight even! It’s good, because I can tell that as I’m feeling better I’m getting antsy about being here so very long and I’ll need the distraction. The only bad thing about her visiting is that when we are together we tend to giggle like a couple of crazy loons and oh, does it ever hurt to laugh right now!
More tomorrow. xoxo
bummer
It’s getting harder to find the funny in all of this.
I had my surgery at 6:00 pm last night, and unfortunately they couldn’t to it laparoscopically. They did have to cut me open. Ouch. It’s a setback but I’m trying to stay light about it. That’s not working too well.
I still haven’t had any food. Not even broth. I just now got a little apple juice to sip at because I’m so sick of ice chips I whined until the doc let me have it. Sheesh. It’s not like I’m asking for a steak dinner.
I can’t seem to stop having crying jags. I don’t know if that’s the pain killers or the lack of calories or just the overall frustration. I’m not a cute crier. I’m puffy, and red, and have bloodshot eyes. Because I wasn’t unattractive enough wearing a johnny. Well, really 2 johnnys – the extra one to cover my butt when they actually let me walk around.
The highlight of the day both Tues. and Weds. was my shower. No really. Both were a major production. But it was the only thing that felt good either day.
I don’t get to have a shower today. Or tomorrow either. Because the big bandage on my belly has to stay there at least 48 hours. Yes, I do have deodorant!
I can’t go home probably until Sunday. Sunday. That feels like light years away.
Josh is going to my MIL’s tonight. She and her husband drove all the way here – 3 hours each way – to come get him for us. He was supposed to go this weekend for the 4th of July festivities anyway, he’s just going a day early now.
I can’t run my 5K on Saturday. Obviously. But I can’t get over how bummed out I am about it. I really wanted to do this. I had set myself a personal goal and I so badly wanted to achieve it. I know I will do it another time, but I’m just not done being annoyed about it.
I never mentioned to you all that I also signed up for the BlogHer Chicago 1st annual 5K on the Friday morning of the conference. Now I can’t do that one either and it bums me out even more, if that’s possible really. I can only hope that by then I’ll be okay to go cheer on the others, but I just don’t know. At this point as long as I’m cleared to fly to Chicago I have to be happy.
I’m still waiting to find out how long it’s going to be before I’m allowed to do any exercise. 4 weeks? 6? That’s almost the whole summer. So much for my running schedule.
Anyway there is a lot of stuff buzzing through my brain right now. I can’t keep my eyes open anymore so I have to end this. I’m sure I’ll post more tomorrow, maybe then I’ll have some answers.
Btw. I can’t even tell you all how much your comments here, on facebook, and on twitter have helped me get through these last two days. You all made me laugh and cry and have just generally cheered me up every time I opened my computer and found new notes from so many different people in my life. I will never forget that. xoxo
what gall
In case you haven’t seen my moaning and groaning on twitter you might not know that I’m happily ensconced begrudgingly captive in the hospital. I had a massive gall bladder attack in the middle of the night on Monday (well really Tuesday by then.) I’ve known for about three years that I’ve had gallstones but I’ve never been symptomatic. My first attack is my last attack.
I’m having surgery sometime this afternoon. Hopefully it will go easily and be done laproscopically so I can go home tomorrow and heal fast. If they have to open me up I’ll be stuck here for a few more days.
My friends. I have not eaten anything since Monday evening. Raspberry Italian Ices do not count as food. I was only allowed clear effing liquids all day yesterday. Up until midnight. Now I’m denied even the smallest sip of water. Clearly I’m a prisoner and I’m being tortured! Isn’t withholding food against the Geneva Convention?? All I get are these little green sponges on a stick to dip in ice water and wet my mouth. Unacceptable I say. Unacceptable! I’m ready to chew those dang sponges. They look a little like jolly ranchers!
I have to say thank you to my lovely husband who thank God had this week off anyway so he can take care of Josh, and he brought me my computer last night. What more could a girl ask for? (Food would be nice!)
Also, my friend Nicole who babysat last night while Damon had his final exam last night AND she mopped my floors! I know for a fact she mopped in places I haven’t touched since I moved in three years ago! She’s taking care of Josh again this afternoon so Damon can be here while I have my surgery. AND she bought me the pretty blue nail polish I wanted so I can have sparkly toes for BlogHer. Love her. It’s good to have good friends.
And then there’s my sister Carolyn who talked me through some pain last night while I was waiting for meds. Did I mention the meds? Mmmm. Dilauded. Good stuff. Oooooooo. The nurse is giving me some right now. I feeeellll funkkkkkyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
You know when you’re a little drunk and you lie down and those pesky bedspins kick in? That’s what Dilauded feels like when I first get it. Then I fall asleep whether I want to or not. zzzzzzzzzzzzz
OMG the cotton mouth is killing me. Sorry, off topic. Now she’s bringing me anti nausea meds. Cause you know what else dilauded does? Makes you want to puke. Except I have nothing left to puke up. So I have hunger nausea. Oh joy, that feeling brings me back to pregnancy days. Not something I ever wanted to relive.
Okay so not only did my sister talk me through the pain, then she was content to listen to me ramble and giggle for a good hour after I got the meds. I have no idea what I said.
Just like I have no idea what I’m writing now! Drugged up blogging, uh huh.
So you know my very favorite things about the hospital? Let’s do a bullet list!
- free wifi
- a private room
- those little anti-slip socks they make you wear and chastise you if you take them off
- sleeping whenever and however much I want
- peeing in the hat. (whooops my snark is showing) If you have no idea what I am talking about then you are very lucky. It’s the basin they put across the toilet to pee in so they can measure all my output. Seriously. Gross.
- nodding off mid-sentence. Just ask Damon how cool that is.
- nodding off mid-blog post.
Can’t. Keep. My. Eyes. Open. And I think I’m gonna hurl. Can’t go back and edit. Hope this post is semi-coherent. yikes.
I could use some comment love peeps. Keep me entertained?