holding on

His hand has always fit into mine perfectly. For years now my response to standing next to him is to hold out my hand. His response was always to take it. There is safety in holding hands, comfort, and silent communication.

This spring has shifted that, ever so slightly. His instinct to reach out hasn’t changed but more often than not instantly pulls back, then glances around in case anyone saw him. Apparently seven is too old to hold hands with your mom, at least if your friends might be around.

Sometimes, even in the school parking lot, he forgets to pull away, and his fingers press lightly against my palm. I don’t remind him, and I can’t help but grin.


I was sitting in a rocking chair a couple of days ago, sewing a Toy Story pillowcase for his bed. He had just picked out a few yards of fleece for a new blanket and there was enough for a pillow too. Suddenly, he looked at me and asked if I could work on that later; he wanted to sit in my lap. He snuggled in, as best he could do with those long legs, and let me rock. Never say no to a seven year old boy who wants to sit in your lap, it just might be the last time he ever asks.


He lost another tooth at school yesterday. He wanted to keep it a secret, I’m assuming so he could test the tooth fairy, but he couldn’t contain himself and told me within minutes of getting off the bus. The tooth fairy left a dollar last night, more than expected. He told me this morning that it must be because he’s such good kid. Yes, yes that’s exactly right.


Tomorrow is his last day of first grade. It’s move-up-day, when he finds out who his new teacher will be, who the other kids in his class are. His excitement is palpable. As much as he will his enjoy his summer vacation, he would be just as happy to start second grade on Monday.

I’m glad we have the summer together though, to read books and play legos. Because I once he’s in second grade, I doubt he will still believe in the tooth fairy, or sit in my lap, or forget himself and reach out to hold my hand anymore.


12 Responses to “holding on”

  1. magpie on June 17th, 2010 11:59 am

    i bet he’ll still do all of those things.

  2. Pocklock on June 17th, 2010 12:34 pm

    The mother/son bond is unbreakable (or so I’ve heard). What a sweet post. I hope you save this for him to read one day.


  3. plizard on June 17th, 2010 3:35 pm

    Oh, he will come back for snuggling. My husband and I are raising our 8 year old grandson…he still wants me to snuggle with him in bed. We get our kisses when he thinks no one is looking and I cherish every one of them. One day he will stand before me and be a young man – that day will come too soon for me.

  4. Phil on June 17th, 2010 6:12 pm

    There’s hope: David, my nineteen-year-old, is absolutely unashamed to hug and kiss his mother.

  5. Life As I Know It on June 17th, 2010 8:12 pm

    It’s bittersweet watching them grow up.
    Don’t worry, though, mine just finished 2nd grade and he still likes to cuddle and sit in my lap and (sometimes) hold my hand 🙂
    Have a happy summer vacation!

  6. mumma boo on June 19th, 2010 9:05 am

    What a beautiful post! Don’t worry, he’ll still do all of those things. Enjoy your summer!!

  7. beaglemum on June 20th, 2010 5:27 pm

    Sure, make me ball when I am sitting here with my new little one and all full of hormones! 🙂

    We must cherish those moments…they are all too fleeting! Thanks for sharing.

  8. MommyTime on June 20th, 2010 10:50 pm

    Lovely. I am in something like that same place with my six year old. I hope you have a wonderful summer.

  9. Kathy at Wellness Roadtrip on June 21st, 2010 5:05 pm

    It can be sad when they start to pull away. I saw a young teenager this week holding his mother’s hand. I thought it was odd. So I guess the pulling is natural and needs to happen. Just found you…thanks for your lovely insights.

  10. moonspun on June 24th, 2010 9:04 am

    I am still thrilled that my nearly 10 year old daughter still holds my hand and wants to sit on my lap (though there is much less lap for her now). yet she is still fiercely independent.

  11. Candy on June 24th, 2010 7:50 pm

    AWWWWW We miss you guys!

  12. Caro on July 27th, 2010 11:27 pm

    THAT was a tearjerker…. I’m so with you….

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