censored!

We had a fabulous day at the beach with my sisters and their families yesterday. The weather was absolutely perfect, 85 and sunny, and the water was warmer than its normal freeze your toes off temp. Perfect shark weather, but no, we didn’t see any. 😉

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I gotta tell you, I had better pictures than this one, (all taken with my new-to-me iphone!) but my boy won’t let me post them. ~sigh~ This blog has been going through some growing pangs lately, because he doesn’t really want me to write about him or post pictures of him anymore. He only approved this one photo because his back was to the camera.

I’m being censored.

If we are doing anything fun or if I innocently take a photo I am often asked “you’re not gonna blog about this are you mom?” Huh. I guess not!

He and I have been here before…you may have noticed there have been several posts about him lately that didn’t really show him. A birthday post without a birthday boy, a science post without a clear face, a post about his treehouse with only one blurry image. As you can see, I’ve had to get creative with my photography. It helps that I’m not particularly good at taking pictures so blurry faces are a natural. 😉

I knew this would come eventually. I just didn’t think it would be so soon! I kind of thought I had until he was 10 or 12 before he stopped letting me write about him. In fact, if he knew I wrote this recently he wouldn’t be very happy about it. I published it because I know someday he’ll appreciate it.

I’ve always self-censored anyway, not wanting to get overly personal on something that can’t ever really be deleted, but I’ve always felt pretty free to post about his childhood. Like I own it or something! Well, he is his own person, and has the right to keep his life off the internet if that’s what he wants. I still might write about him, but only if he approves it. Future photos will be faceless, like they were back when I first started and blogged anonymously. Or there won’t be any photos of him at all. I just don’t know yet.

What happens to a mommy blogger (ugh, it’s what I’ve become but I still hate that word) who can’t blog about her kid?? I really don’t have the answer right now! It’s why I don’t post as often as I used to, and I don’t foresee it getting any better.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t depressing. It’s just different. I have to make a change. Write about my own life, or don’t write at all?

Comments

10 Responses to “censored!”

  1. Stimey on July 4th, 2010 1:58 pm

    Ooh, interesting. I just tell (lie to) my kids that they’re famous and that’s good enough for them for now. But now that they’re older, the things that I write about are changing. I try to consider if they would want other people to know what I’m writing, and often the answer turns out to be no.

    That’s why I write about mice all the time now.

  2. Leighann on July 4th, 2010 2:31 pm

    A Cowboy’s Wife is starting a new site (network?) that won’t be about parenting.

    I try to give my kids a little anonymity on MMM. Not sure how successful I am at it though.

  3. magpie on July 4th, 2010 9:40 pm

    i haven’t yet run into this with my kid…who is about the same age. maybe i talk about it very little?

  4. Phil on July 5th, 2010 4:05 pm

    I encourage my children to be very careful with their photos and identification on the internet. I don’t want them to get the idea that activities conducted in public can be kept private. Neither the internet nor the real world work that way. In either case, I don’t let my minor children set rules for me. As it is their business, their preferences are important, but it is NOT their decision.
    Your son is part of your life. You can’t honestly write about it and leave him out. I think you should stand your ground, without guilt or evasion, and for the very reason you stated above: someday he’ll appreciate it.
    What you write about him now will be revisited and treasured long after you and I are gone. What a precious legacy! (Hmm. Maybe too sentimental. What the heck.)

  5. moonspun on July 7th, 2010 9:27 pm

    Interesting….well you don’t have to post pictures of him to write about him and you don’t have to write just about him to blog. Because you are many more things than “just” a mommy if you know what I mean….

  6. Miss Britt on July 8th, 2010 6:30 pm

    How old is he? I ask because my son is 10 and I wonder how much longer he’ll think it’s cool to see his picture on my blog.

  7. mumma boo on July 14th, 2010 2:00 pm

    You are so much more than a “mommy blogger”. You write about your life, and your boy is a major part of it. Does he tell you not to talk about him to your friends IRL? That’s how I look at it – if it’s something my kids would be embarrassed to have their friends’ moms know, then I don’t put it out there. Otherwise, anything else is fair game.

  8. Pocklock on July 16th, 2010 11:30 am

    Someone just asked me this very question; Do I feel censored in my writing either because of my kid or because something I write could hurt someone else. The answer really is, if I allowed myself to feel censored, I’d never be able to write anything.

    I understand your boy not wanting to be published and I guess that’s his choice, but I would hate for him to regret not getting to see these moments when he’s older and might truly _want_ to. I feel like even if Lyla’s going to complain about the photos I’ve published of her, she’ll likely have ten friends who’s mom’s have done the same thing. They can form a club or something!

    Heh.

  9. Swistle on July 24th, 2010 8:53 pm

    So far my kids haven’t realized that “having a blog” means I sometimes post THEM on my blog.

    Thank goodness!

  10. Caro on July 27th, 2010 11:23 pm

    You could just go back to calling him “the boy” and posting pics like the beach one. I think that works for privacy. I’m sure he hasn’t informed his friends that you happen to be “Catnip and Coffee” so what’s he to worry about? Your blog is one of the ways my boy feels connected to your boy, considering neither of them writes in-depth emails. 🙂

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