brainstorming always comes back to the cat puke

You know how right before you fall asleep you think of something so totally freaking brilliant you’re sure you’re going to remember it in the morning? And you wake up and don’t even remember you thought of something much less what that something actually is. I swear that’s why I haven’t written anything here for weeks. I always come up with great topic around 11pm. When I was a newbie blogger I would actually get up and write it out as soon as I thought of it, and then I would hit publish at 2am and no one would read it. By the next day I was happy that no one had read it because my middle of the night ramblings were never quite as good as I thought they were going to be. Usually I wrote stuff about cat puke. Wait, that’s not a good example because cat puke is actually funny. Unless you’re the one cleaning it up. Or stepping in it. Especially when it’s cold. And the ickyness of it makes you hop around on one foot, in the dark, when your muscles are already screaming at you because you went to Zumba the day before. Okay that didn’t really happen. Stepping in the cat puke after Zumba that is. That was a hypothetical situation that I made up to illustrate the typical things that befall me. Stepping in the cold cat puke in the middle of the night was actually 2 weeks ago, and well, the week before that too. Going to Zumba was only a few days ago, and although I couldn’t walk for days I laughed my butt off while I was there. If only that were true, right? That you could actually laugh until your butt fell off? I would be sooo dang skinny. But then I wouldn’t need to go to Zumba. And I wouldn’t be able to laugh with my friends there. And then I wouldn’t be skinny anymore. It’s a vicious, vicious cycle I tell you. Obviously Zumba is bad and I need to get my exercise some other way. Like shoveling the driveway. Which I am certain to have to do again tomorrow. Because of course it’s going to snow again, again, again. And January is never going to end. And I am going to have to rake the stupid roof one more time and my arms will fall off and we’ll get killer icicles. I won’t be able to defend myself from the killer icicles because I won’t have any arms and that is much, much worse than not having a butt. In conclusion, snow is even worse than Zumba and the only good thing about this post was the cat puke.

And I didn’t even write this in the middle of the night.

Go ahead I dare you to comment.


15 Responses to “brainstorming always comes back to the cat puke”

  1. magpie on January 26th, 2011 2:11 pm

    Um. I think you need some chocolate.

  2. AnnetteK on January 26th, 2011 5:46 pm

    You all know I’m just messin’ with you right? RIGHT!? 🙂

  3. Melissa on January 26th, 2011 7:27 pm

    Chocolate and WINE!!! Nice, rich, full bodied red wine! Especially tonight. Or maybe tomorrow after you shovel the 4-6 inches that we’re supposed to get and then the stuff that the plows put in your driveway.

    I swear this winter has been the worst. Or just this month at least.

    And I LOVE Zumba…

  4. Cluckers on January 26th, 2011 9:20 pm

    Are you doing drugs?

  5. AnnetteK on January 26th, 2011 9:28 pm

    No! Sheesh. I was trying to pull my old commenters out of hiding. And it worked. 🙂

  6. feefifoto on January 26th, 2011 9:56 pm

    You are very VERY funny. What is it about people like you (and me) that we thrive on relating our most intimate and embarrassing stories to potential millions of strangers?

  7. Nicole on January 26th, 2011 10:20 pm

    If I bring you homemade bonbons tomorrow will you forgive me for making you go to Zumba?? I had lots of fun laughing with you though!

  8. Justine on January 26th, 2011 10:34 pm

    So if we really could laugh our butts off then I’d go to zumba again and after our butts fell off we’d no longer need to go to zumba which would thrill me and so then we could just sit around eating the calorie/ fat free bon bons that Nicole’s going to invent and we won’t need to worry about our butts and I hope this made you laugh, it burns good calories and I love how funny you are because then you help me burn my calories from the chocolate strawberries I’m eating while sitting on my butt 🙂

  9. Fran on January 27th, 2011 8:29 am

    The REAL question is: Why is your cat puking? Too many bonbons, or too much snow shoveling?

  10. Jason on January 27th, 2011 1:50 pm

    There really is no worse feeling than being in bed at night, drifting comfortably off to sleep, and then hearing from downstairs your cat hacking.

    Jason L.
    Northern Virginia Hypnotherapist

  11. Phil on January 27th, 2011 6:31 pm

    How, exactly, did you get me to laugh at cat puke?

  12. Caro on January 28th, 2011 5:48 pm

    Freaking hysterical!!! Even on a second read… 🙂

  13. BeagleMum on January 30th, 2011 2:33 pm

    Ha! Dare I mention Jazzercise… er, a decade a go!?

  14. mumma boo on January 31st, 2011 8:57 pm

    As long as you don’t try to do Zumba with killer icicles, I think you’ll be ok. 🙂

  15. Niki on January 31st, 2011 10:43 pm

    I have wished many times that I could literally laugh my butt off. :-/

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