flashback friday: love look at the 2 of us
Edited to add: If you’re here from Proposal 2.0, I linked to one of my older posts because I think it gets the point across that your wedding (and hence your marriage) should be what you want it to be, not what everyone else wants it to be. My best marriage advice – take lots of candids!
It’s the Valentine’s Day edition of Flashback Friday over at My Tiny Kingdom! I’ve been waiting for this one just so I can post a couple of my wedding pictures!
My wedding was exactly the way I wanted it: small and simple. We were outside, under a big white tent, with sixty of our closest family and friends, and great food that I can’t remember eating. It was hotter than heck though, 99 degrees wasn’t part of the plan. Other than all the sweat it was the perfect day!
The best wedding photos are the unplanned ones, aren’t they?! We have tons of candids because there were a bunch of professional photographers as guests. I don’t know why we bothered hiring one! I’m glad we did though because he caught this one in between the set up shots:
It seems like we have more kissy shots than anything else, but this is my favorite:
Sometimes June 24, 1995 feels just like yesterday. (And then I look at my very, very tall hair. Yikes.)
Love you baby. xoxo
Filed Under family, photos, the husband Tagged family, flashback friday, memories, photos, the husband, wedding
Flashback Friday: Red White and Blue
You know I’m not really one for participating in lots of blog carnivals, but I just couldn’t help myself this time. Anne Glamore at My Tiny Kingdom has started a new carnival for Flashback Friday! I’ve seen lots of Flashback Friday posts here and there over the last couple of years, but there hasn’t been an full out carnival for it. I’m so glad she did this because it gives me a great excuse to scan some of my old photos!
The theme this week is “Feeling Red, White and Blue.”
Apparently I wore a lot of red as a kid because it wasn’t hard to find the perfect picture for this one. What makes is more perfect is my mom. Hi Ma! I hope you don’t mind me posting this. 
I think you are absolutely beautiful.
This was taken in March, 1977, just a month before I turned five. That chair is still in the same spot and it’s where she’s rocked and snuggled all of her many grandchildren over the years too.
Love you Mom!
xoxo
Annette (the one you still call your “baby”)
ps. Next week is “This Makes me Giggle” – I can’t wait!!!
one last Christmas reflection
I had the perfect New Year’s Day yesterday. We spent the morning taking down all the trapping of Christmas, boxing up our memories in plastic bins, neatly put away for next year.
We then went to Target for yet one last bin, one big enough for the first fake tree we’ve had in years, and one almost as expensive as the tree. Yikes. Then we got our coffee and smoothie respectively, went home for lunch, and took a 2 and a half hour nap. No really, the boy and I had a glorious long winter’s rest while DH was at work.
We did in fact let the boy stay up until midnight to ring in the New Year, the first and perhaps the last time we’ll do that. Not that he was bad, but frankly if he had been in bed at normal time, I’m pretty sure I would have been too. Apparently I’m an old lady. Confirmed by the fact I crocheted again throughout 3 hour ride on the way to the FIL’s today. At one point I said ‘oy vey’ at something DH said and that was it for him. Now I’m not allowed to say little old lady things at the same time I’m working with yarn of any sort. Oy vey. But I digress.
So the decorations are gone, when it felt like we had just put them up. It feels good to have the furniture back in place, and have clean empty spaces again. Another whole year before the Christmas hype begins again. I can’t decide if that’s a good or a bad thing, honestly. A little of both perhaps. It would be nice if we could keep our holiday spirit year round, without all the rest of it.
As I folded up plastic branches and pulled apart the metal trunk of our tree yesterday, I remembered the only other time we’ve had a fake tree since we’ve been married – the year I was pregnant. It was all I could do to get up and go to work everyday. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, could barely walk. I was nauseous all the time and threw up daily though I was far into my second trimester.
Just the idea of Christmas overwhelmed me, buying gifts was impossible, and setting up a tree blew my mind. We were in Virginia, far from our families, just the two of us, expectant, scared, and hopeful all at once. I cried out of helplessness, ordered to lay on the couch on my downtime, not able to create any Christmas spirit, but needing it all the same.
One day, mid-way into December, I arrived home, looked around and cried again. This time tears of joy. My dear husband had dug into our Christmas things, things I thought would stay put away for another year. He’d found our old 2 foot fake tree, leftover from our college days, and set it up with lights and my favorite ornaments. He’d put out as many of my decorations as he could find and waited for me to come home and find it. He’d made my Christmas spirit for me. And he didn’t need a 7 foot tall fir to do it.
That was a good year, so have all the years since, and I hope the next is better than ever.
Happy 2009 my friends. xoxo
Filed Under family, life, the husband Tagged christmas, family, holidays, new year
not much today
I don’t wanna! I don’t wanna! I don’t wanna write today!
</end whine>
I’m in Maine. ~happy sigh~ My mom cooked dinner and it was lovely. My boy painted with my father. We chatted and chatted. Now we’re about to have a scrabble game. All is well in my world. Tomorrow will be even better.
See ya then.
xoxo
rest in peace
My aunt passed away this morning after a very long and valiant battle with cancer. Even though it was expected, it’s not easy to believe it has actually happened. I can only think about my cousins, and how they’ve lost their mom, and their children have lost their grandmother. That’s the pain that takes my breath away.
I probably won’t be around much for the next few days. I have to bail out on a few obligations I had this weekend, and I’m sorry for that.
weekend craziness
I just spent a lovely weekend living my life in reality instead of online.
First was the boy and I spent Friday evening at a friend’s house making Christmas cards. I’m terrible at it but it was such fun! I had some of those $0.25 wooden cutouts from the craft store on hand to keep the boy busy – he loves to color them. This is not a zebra (as we assumed):
Apparently it’s a horse wearing a Christmas sweater! I don’t wear Christmas sweaters so I have no idea where he got the idea!
Saturday morning my sister and her boy came for a visit. It’s become sort of an annual thing for us to spend a Saturday each Autumn going through a corn maze and picking out some pumpkins. The boys love it, and we love creating a new tradition and making memories.
We let them make most of the decisions – needless say we were in there for a looong time, and didn’t exactly come out where we were supposed to!
They loved the fact they had almost the same gloves, and of course, coordinating Red Sox caps:
After lunch it was time for the boy’s soccer game:
Wow, I actually managed to get a decent action shot!
Then the cousins had a sleepover, which is never all that much sleep! For any of us.
Whew, I’m tired. And I still need a shower. And I don’t think I’ve brushed me teeth yet. But this? This was a perfect weekend.
Filed Under family, life, the boy Tagged family, life, soccer, the boy, weekend
remission
That’s a beautiful word isn’t it? Especially when it’s someone you know.
My father is in remission.
He has Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. The last couple of years have been steeped in chemo and all its side effects. Here’s the thing about Lymphoma, it never really goes away, you’re never really cancer-free. You beat it back, and you beat it back some more. The very best thing you can hear about Lymphoma is the word remission. We’ve waited a long time to hear this, and I got the word yesterday.
The timing of my father’s remission is bittersweet though, because his little sister’s cancer is now beyond treatment. It’s far past surgery or chemo or radiation, and into the realm of morphine and time. Her name is Marie, after their mother. When my grandmother died I was very young, and in my mind my Aunt Marie became a living reminder for me, in name, in looks, in voice,. In hugs. If I had had a daughter instead of a son, she would have been Emma Marie.
So I am happy today, but I am also sad. I live my normal life everyday, for my son, for my husband, for me. But in the back of my mind, I’m waiting for one of those phone calls. It might come tomorrow, or this week, or maybe next, but it come soon.
Peace be with you, my dear Aunt Marie.
fireflies
She whispered from the bunk above me. “I think we can go now. She must be asleep.”
Quietly, like a cat, she jumped down from her bed, while I crawled out from under my own covers below. A dim light from under the door helped us navigate across the room we shared. We ever so quietly tiptoed out into the hall, past the bedroom where Mom slept. All of us kids, we sure wore her out, but we also knew she would awaken at the slightest of noises. We prayed the floor wouldn’t squeak nor our ankles make a crack.
Stifling giggles and trying not to stumble in our excitement, we went down the stairs to the landing. Ah yes, the big door was still standing open, letting the cool night air stream in. That meant Pop, ever the night owl, was still up. Probably down in the family room watching TV or reading a book. Some of our siblings were likely still be up with him. No school for the summer meant later bedtimes for the older kids, though not for us.
Please don’t make a sound, we can’t be stopped before we’ve started, I thought as we pushed open the screen door and let ourselves out from dark house into the darker beyond. We might not get another ideal opportunity.
The concrete steps were cold on my bare feet, and the grass colder still with dew drops clinging to their blades. The night air felt wonderful after such a sweltering sunny day. A light breeze prickled the skin on the back of my neck and sent a thrill down my spine.
A perfect night for fireflies.
We could see them flitting all around us, all across the wide expanse of lawn. We ran in circles, catching them in our palms. Peeking between my thumbs, I could see just blink, blink, blink, like the tiniest of signal flares sending an SOS for help. I let it go after just a moment, no harm intended. Catch another quick, feel its buzzing against my skin. Peek again. Let it go.
It was too much fun to be quiet about it. There was no doubt we would soon be caught ourselves. Our laughter pealed through the air, into the windows, waking our mother.
“Come back inside,” she called. “Go back to bed.” Not angry, but not exactly pleased. We were happy though, we’d had our romp. Did you know Mom, when we went down the hall, what we were up to? Did you purposefully let us have those few moments before you came out to get us?
I remember catching fireflies with my sister. I have no doubt she does too, though I don’t remember ever talking about it.
where were you?
I was in my office, just starting my day, when a co-worker came in and told me her mother had called and said a missile had hit a building in New York. We thought that sounded very strange so I tried going to CNN.com, MSNBC.com, every news site I could think of, but none of them worked. Even stranger.
We thought of the TV in the conference room. The reception was terrible with those old rabbit ears, but we made it work. The more we watched, the more colleagues joined us, and the more horrified we were. We were watching live when the second plane hit. The entire group was stunned into silence, until these co-workers of mine, military and aviation experts all, called it for what they knew it was. It wasn’t a missile, it was a plane, a big plane. As bad as the picture was, they clearly recognized it, long before the analysis on the news got it right.
The room became very crowded. I couldn’t have left my seat if I’d wanted to. I didn’t want to. All eyes were glued to the screen, ears straining to hear the tiny speakers. Talking in the room was only a slight whisper. Anything louder was quickly shushed.
The reception got worse, only one channel came in, and only with someone standing up, holding the antennae, using their body to attract the signal.
Time passed, rumors were heard. Rumors about bombs at the World Bank, rumors about bombs at the USA Today building, rumors about Reagan National Airport, and then Dulles Airport, just a few miles away. Rumors about news buildings being targets. And the White House of course. Rumors about the Pentagon. Wait.
New pictures on the screen. The Pentagon was not a rumor. Neither was the plane in Pennsylvania. This terrible reality just got closer to us personally, a lot closer. My colleagues knew what that meant. Imminent war. At this moment, some kind of war was beginning, we just didn’t know exactly what that war would look like.
Some of us watched longer, unable to look away, while others drifted back to their offices, hoping to get some normalcy out of the day. They were hiding out, not wanting to know any more. I couldn’t blame anyone for that. Especially after those of us left watched the first tower crumble with tears streaming down our faces. I was glad I wasn’t alone then.
After the second tower came down, our boss quietly told us all to go home. He was closing the office and wanted us to go be with our families. It was a relief to leave to have a reason to get away from the TV for a few minutes, to get away from other people.
I got in my car, and sat for a moment. I was listening to a little voice in the back of my head. Don’t get on the highway it said. The last thing I wanted to do was get on a crowded highway, and get stuck in massive traffic. Traffic is bad on a normal day, this was Northern Virginia after all. I knew a back way, a dirt road that led almost all the way home. Halfway down the dirt road, I heard the traffic update. Everyone who got on that highway was there for hours and hours. I spent those same hours at home, alone, back in front of the news.
I remember how bad the phone lines were. I was able to call my parents in Maine, but not my husband two miles away. For awhile cell phones were easier to get through on, then nothing at all worked. DH wouldn’t come home, couldn’t come home. He worked in the news business and news people don’t get to stop working in a crisis.
I wasn’t a mom yet. I wondered that day if I ever would be, if I should even bring a baby into such a horrible world. I changed my mind about that, but one this day every year, I remember that helplessness, hopelessness, and the terrible terrible sadness. I remember and pray for everyone affected by the events of 9/11 and its aftermath.
Where were you that morning? Do you remember much? I realized today that I had some trouble remembering the details. I wrote this today so I wouldn’t forget how I personally felt and what I did and who was around me. I don’t want my only memories to be the ones I see on the ceremonial shows every year. I don’t want my own experience to get cloudy. Never never forget.
The Pentagon, 9/11/01, Department of Defense/US Navy photo.
a do-over
When I was younger I had lots of ideas about what I wanted to be when I grew up. For a long time I thought I would be a veterinarian because I loved animals, then in high school my dream was to be an engineer to be like my father, then when I started college I wanted to be a lawyer only because it sounded cool, and I couldn’t think of anything better.
I wasn’t there long before I realized that I wasn’t cut out to be a lawyer, for sure. When it came time to make a real decision I just couldn’t do it. Eventually I majored in US History because it was there. It felt sort of right. I loved history, and the fantasy of working behind the scenes in a musty, dusty museum filled my mind.
Well, guess what? Museum jobs were few and far between, and paid terribly. And were not nearly as romantic as I’d imagined. Blech.
So what else do you do with a History degree? Not much apparently. Teach? Soooo not for me. That’s become only more evident as I get older!
I held a lot of different jobs over the years, and eventually landed a job as a photo editor in a group of history magazines. It was pretty perfect for me for quite some time. Then, after I had the boy, I started thinking about other ways to earn a living than going to a job every day. It took some time, but I was very lucky and fell in to doing freelance photo editing for a large children’s book publisher. Even after moving back to New Hampshire I’ve been able to continue to work for them remotely. Right now I have the best of both worlds, I make a little bit of money, but I get to stay home with my boy.
As fortunate as I am, sometimes I wonder what could have been. Not about my family, I wouldn’t change them for anything. But if I could have a career do-over what would it be?
If I had known myself better at 18 years old, if I had known what my life interests would be now, I would probably have been a meteorologist. To be exact, I’d be….a Storm Chaser! Show me some green on a radar and I’ll sit there for hours and analyze it, with The Weather Channel on in the background. Have mercy, I am such a dork.
Someday, after my boy is on his own, I like to think DH and I will sell everything we own, including our house, and buy a big RV. I imagine outfitting it with all the latest technology. What? We’re both computer dorks! I want my own Doppler dammit! We’re going to be that old couple, who drive all around the country all the time, only we’ll be following the storms. I’d just love to help forecast the bad ones, and maybe even make a difference. Naive? Maybe, but I think it’s nice dream to have.
If you had a job or school do-over, would you change anything? Knowing what you know now would you have taken a different career path or stayed the same course?