one last Christmas reflection

I had the perfect New Year’s Day yesterday. We spent the morning taking down all the trapping of Christmas, boxing up our memories in plastic bins, neatly put away for next year.

We then went to Target for yet one last bin, one big enough for the first fake tree we’ve had in years, and one almost as expensive as the tree. Yikes. Then we got our coffee and smoothie respectively, went home for lunch, and took a 2 and a half hour nap. No really, the boy and I had a glorious long winter’s rest while DH was at work.

We did in fact let the boy stay up until midnight to ring in the New Year, the first and perhaps the last time we’ll do that. Not that he was bad, but frankly if he had been in bed at normal time, I’m pretty sure I would have been too. Apparently I’m an old lady. Confirmed by the fact I crocheted again throughout 3 hour ride on the way to the FIL’s today. At one point I said ‘oy vey’ at something DH said and that was it for him. Now I’m not allowed to say little old lady things at the same time I’m working with yarn of any sort. Oy vey. But I digress.

So the decorations are gone, when it felt like we had just put them up. It feels good to have the furniture back in place, and have clean empty spaces again. Another whole year before the Christmas hype begins again. I can’t decide if that’s a good or a bad thing, honestly. A little of both perhaps. It would be nice if we could keep our holiday spirit year round, without all the rest of it.

As I folded up plastic branches and pulled apart the metal trunk of our tree yesterday, I remembered the only other time we’ve had a fake tree since we’ve been married – the year I was pregnant. It was all I could do to get up and go to work everyday. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, could barely walk. I was nauseous all the time and threw up daily though I was far into my second trimester.

Just the idea of Christmas overwhelmed me, buying gifts was impossible, and setting up a tree blew my mind. We were in Virginia, far from our families, just the two of us, expectant, scared, and hopeful all at once. I cried out of helplessness, ordered to lay on the couch on my downtime, not able to create any Christmas spirit, but needing it all the same.

One day, mid-way into December, I arrived home, looked around and cried again. This time tears of joy. My dear husband had dug into our Christmas things, things I thought would stay put away for another year. He’d found our old 2 foot fake tree, leftover from our college days, and set it up with lights and my favorite ornaments. He’d put out as many of my decorations as he could find and waited for me to come home and find it. He’d made my Christmas spirit for me. And he didn’t need a 7 foot tall fir to do it.

That was a good year, so have all the years since, and I hope the next is better than ever.

Happy 2009 my friends. xoxo

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